Because

Dear You,

This is a secret. Just between me and you.

I want (deeply desire and truly long) to talk to you.
To share things with you. I know that's one of the reasons why we'll be together - is so that we will be able to share life.

Already a hundred things have crossed my mind to tell you. Things like I cleaned out a gift from a friend -a car for two weeks, today, and it looks mighty awesome! It was kind of gross. It needed to be cleaned (vacuumed primarily) so badly!

Things like I'm sick again.
Not that I really have been "better" but that silly thing is back again. It's there. A direct attack on my beauty as  the image bearer of The Most High.

Things like I miss you and wish I knew you.
I want to know who you are.
I want to know when I get to meet you.
-Wouldn't that be easier? Wouldn't that be the so awesome! Then waiting wouldn't be so hard. I'd still have to wait, but the goal would be in sight! Like finals, or summer vacation, or Christmas. You still have to wait, but knowing they are coming is just superb. It helps.
Not knowing when I've met you, if I've met you, and when Jesus will finally reveal me to you and you to be....
golly. I'm tired of waiting.
I'm always waiting. Sorta.
Mostly.

But what if I have met you? What if I know you? What if we're friends?
---
I want to know you now.
And then my words come back to me.
Instant gratification is never worth it.
So here too it applies.

*deep. quiet voice.*
I love you.
I know I don't know you yet. I don't know you fully.
But I love you.
I have always loved you.
It's not an emotion. It's a choice. I want to love you.
And so I do.
And I'm jealous for me for you. I desire to be me for you. Only yours. Becoming one with you.
And I don't want to deter from that.

So all of this is because I have a huge desire in me to share with you my life.
So instead of sharing all of me to someone else.
I'm taking this place. This sacred and safe place to share depths of me.
Come, Love. As I share life with you.

Can't wait to meet you.
-The Beloved.